The countdown begins:: Tick tick:::
This time next month I will be sitting somewhere on a beach... In New England ummm nope but somewhere WARM.... Now mind you I am accustomed to winter due to being raised in Upstate NY just south of the Syracuse snowbelt but also with living here in New England with it's marvelous Nor'Easters...
Work has been anything but a joy ride but I'm toughing it out..... The job changes it's mind on what it requires on a daily basis.... For example: overtime and shortstaffed shifts.... To run it proper it takes TWO (2) not ONE (1) to properly handle what is required.... I was approved for a coverage shift today as a matter of fact and then received the call stating opps naw they changed their minds bout me working buuuuuuuuut if I wanted to I could go in but only for 4 hours.... Gotta love it when the word trickles down about tightening the belt and no "fluff" OT..... With my job it's not a fluff thing but a necessity and that was proven this past Friday....
The little Job that pays my bills doesn't really hear us when we say we're short staffed and need help..... Not that we cannot handle it solo but when crap hits the fan more hands on deck is better than one...... It's like asking a Surgeon to perform the surgery, and prep the patient.... More hands equals better quality of work ....
I've learned a lesson about prisoners even though they may play the remourseful card ya gotta watch them.... If I hadn't been there my little Job that pays my bills would have had some "splaining" to do...I'm not sayin I saved the day but by me being there helpin the mid's dispatcher, a problem that occurred coulda been a helluva lot worse.... With my luck after being praised Friday nite I will go into work tmw and get the lecture of all lectures .... Oh well such is life...
Note to self: Check patent info for a Magic 8 ball for Police,Fire,Medical... I may get rich someday
Monday, November 17, 2008
Monday, November 3, 2008
Speak up or shut up
Ahh I know the title sounds harsh but it's the mood I'm in at the moment. As I write this I realize that there are days when it's best if I think before speaking or think before typing or think before doing something totally insane....
My family life growing up was one where being the youngest of three and having the age spread between my sister and I (8 years) it was like a total different family. My brother is 10 years older and that in itself explains why to this day we're more distant than ever.
I turned to drugs and alcohol to help me get the comfort I felt I couldn't find with my family. Hell they wouldn't understand (so I thought)... It took me about 6 years into active addiction to realize that hiding the pain by drinking wasn't taking away the pain but slowly killing me. I got the help that I needed and am doing what needs to be done a day at a time.....
I learned that if I didn't speak up I would slowly die. I learned that if I stayed hidden with the "mask" by not telling those who were closest to me I was in trouble the only one I hurt was me.... I learned that sometimes by getting the advice and imput which was given can cause pain but with pain there is growth... My sig other ( more on them in a future blog) stands by by and reminds me that if I want to keep doing what I am I have to take care of me....
Reading Ambulance Mommys blog this morning about her annonymous blogger and even Pink Warm and Dry (Epi's) blog from 11/02/08 about good enough, got me to thinking about me being "good enough".
Granted there are days when I don't feel that I am and thats usually when I've allowed myself to be used as the perverbial doormat... Then there are days espically with my job which may started off crappy turned into something positive... I may get a compliment (which is rare) or a "thank you" (which is extremely rare). It's at those moments when I do see that by speaking up helps....
My biggest suggestion for the day: Don't allow anyone to take away your "voice." by allowing that you will loose yourself... Stand up for what you believe in and by doing that the strength you may have lost will return...
My family life growing up was one where being the youngest of three and having the age spread between my sister and I (8 years) it was like a total different family. My brother is 10 years older and that in itself explains why to this day we're more distant than ever.
I turned to drugs and alcohol to help me get the comfort I felt I couldn't find with my family. Hell they wouldn't understand (so I thought)... It took me about 6 years into active addiction to realize that hiding the pain by drinking wasn't taking away the pain but slowly killing me. I got the help that I needed and am doing what needs to be done a day at a time.....
I learned that if I didn't speak up I would slowly die. I learned that if I stayed hidden with the "mask" by not telling those who were closest to me I was in trouble the only one I hurt was me.... I learned that sometimes by getting the advice and imput which was given can cause pain but with pain there is growth... My sig other ( more on them in a future blog) stands by by and reminds me that if I want to keep doing what I am I have to take care of me....
Reading Ambulance Mommys blog this morning about her annonymous blogger and even Pink Warm and Dry (Epi's) blog from 11/02/08 about good enough, got me to thinking about me being "good enough".
Granted there are days when I don't feel that I am and thats usually when I've allowed myself to be used as the perverbial doormat... Then there are days espically with my job which may started off crappy turned into something positive... I may get a compliment (which is rare) or a "thank you" (which is extremely rare). It's at those moments when I do see that by speaking up helps....
My biggest suggestion for the day: Don't allow anyone to take away your "voice." by allowing that you will loose yourself... Stand up for what you believe in and by doing that the strength you may have lost will return...
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